The Aspects of Having Decorum

Decorum: Argument by character starts with your audience's love:You earn it through decorum. Under Jay's definition of decorum the hollywood or athlete star the person whom I choose to represent the characteristics of this word is Falcao. I'm not sure if it's the Colombian pride speaking out loud, but of the athletes who i've known he best fits this category.

 In the football world Falcao's decorum is indisputable he fits in the same in Colombia as he does in Europe "Rhetorical decorum is the art of fitting in- not just in polite company but everywhere, from the office to the neighborhood bar. (p.46) This is a player whose image so far throughout the world is very well seen in difference to other soccer players who have been portrayed in the drug and alcohol world. When I think of Falcao I think of a professional soccer player whose skills on the pitch are irrefutable, but as well as a complete athlete in the sense that of the pitch he is known to be a mature and responsible person in his personal life (being a family man enhances this view of him for me). He does his job at his top capacity and potential and in a quiet manner. He is not known for any scandals made inside or out the pitch his manners are the same in both, for the soccer fans you might contrast the image of Falcao to that of Pepe's or Balotelli's "You persuade a man only insofar as you can talk his language by speech, gesture, tonality, order, image, attitude, idea, identifying your ways with his.
(p.47)"

Jay mentioned with an example he used when his friend and himself both gave a flower to different women calling her "doll" on the doing, and how it worked for his friend but not for him "Cicero would nod his head. He taught that you can't assume a character that strays too far from your own. (p.51)" Most soccer players i've had the chance to see change when seen under the spotlight. Coming from very humble backgrounds soccer players at first when young try with their upmost capacity to become recognized (every soccer players dream). The problem is that when they see this happening they tend to change, as the see themselves with much more money their personalities shift drastically in some cases. They get this feeling that they are untouchable and you can see that their ego is over the roof: unfortunately what happens with Cristiano Ronaldo. Although he is an incredible and hugely talented athlete and soccer player his personality lowers his decorum "persuasion requires sympathy. (54)". With Falcao it's different which is what I want to highlight he came from a humble background, and worked very hard to get where he is today. Even though he probably has a lot of money nowadays he still shows humility and no ego at all. He still carries this genuine love for his country and that is why the Colombian people and me admire him so much.

He represent Aristotles three essential qualities of a persuasive ethos value, practical wisdom and selflessness. The audience does believe he shares their values, he appears to know who to manage his personal and professional life, and his audience interests seem to matter to him in a big part. I am very eager to continue to follow Falcao's soccer career as he truly is a complete soccer player as many others who have existed. Hopefully his participation at the world cup will be satisfactory so that the affection for him by the Colombian people will grow bigger than it is.

Vocab:

Ignoble: not honorable in character or purpose; of humble origin or social status.

Bluenoses: a priggish or puritanical person.

Touted: attempt to sell (something), typically by pestering people in an aggressive or bold manner; attempt to persuade people of the merits of (someone or something).

The Effects of Arguing

After starting to read "Thank You For Arguing" by Jay Heinrichs I have to say that it made me think about various things I've could of done differently. At first he talks about how much his book is going to help us in life through social interaction. He wanted to state the importance of knowing how to argue,  and on knowing how to use the power of argument in life. At first I have to say that I was a little skeptical: as most texts who starts by saying how useful they are going to be usually aren't. But astonishingly I found that most of what he had to say has certain logic and truth to it. One example is when he talks about seductive argument and how effective it is when correctly used: as it implies emotions. The purpose is to manipulate "Seduction is manipulation. (p.9)"it is to stir someones emotions to get what you want. Like with advertising when they display very attractive models on clothing this sort of makes you want to look like them: appealing to your inner insecurity making you want to look better. Although seduction is just part of the process of persuading someone it is a very key part as it drags you in. There was one time when this girl at school whose beauty was breathtaking asked me if I could help her with a project she was doing. Being naturally attracted by her I decided to help her, although it was very time consuming it was worth the sacrifice (that's what I thought). Even though when I finished helping her I still hadn't began my own project I felt that we reached the consensus Jay talks about " It means more than just an agreement, much more than a compromise. The consensus represents an audience commonsense thinking. (p.9)."She got the help she needed I got her to like me and acknowledge me more (win-win).

These are not the only parts which I found useful from the reading there was one which got me thinking: it was the avoidance of having a fight just by knowing how to argue. First he wanted the reader to understand the difference between what was to fight and to argue "The basic difference between an argument and a fight: an argument, done skillfully, gets people to want to do what you want. You fight to win; you argue to achieve agreement.(p.17)" I reflected upon this and its validity, and its very true once you think about it when you fight you try to make yourself get over somebody else: most of the time through aggression. But really what is the result from this, it only inspires revenge or retreat though fighting we can't achieve what we want no consensus can be made. It's like when he talked about the couples and the results from the experiment in which he saw that the happy ones argued and the unhappy ones fought. This reading on knowing how to differentiate fighting and arguing made me think on recent occasions. No so long ago I fought with my parents because they saw that I was not using my full capacities at school: that I was slacking. Immediately this made me furious as they didn't understand that I was challenging myself to a great extent this year. When I get mad my mind gets a little foggy and I don't process well what someone says to me. If I would of argued from the beginning and calmly acknowledge my parents points as well as asking them for some further advice: I wouldn't of been grounded.

Throughout the reading I have felt very connected to what Jay has to say on how to express yourself and to manage interactions. I have to say I feel that it is very important as well because it can help you manage many discussions you have in life. It's something that has a clear use for further situations this is why i've been appreciating it so much. As much as it is informative it is helpful.

Chiasmus: a rhetorical or literary figure in which words, grammatical constructions, or concepts are repeated in reverse order, in the same or a modified form; e.g. ‘Poetry is the record of the best and happiest moments of the happiest and best minds.

Enthymeme: an argument in which one premise is not explicitly stated.

High School Life Skills Rubric Video

Video

Effects of Submission

Since my last blog post not much has changed towards the memoir i'm reading "This Boy's Life" by Tobias Wolff. It's still very controversial, but now it's somewhat to become somewhat frustrating for me. This is mostly because while i've been reading it's hard not to put myself inside Tobias's shoes. A kid who lives with his mom because his parents are divorced, so he just wants his mom to find happiness again. Because of this he allows himself to get run over by people. Mostly suitors to his mom which means that he has to face every time she gets heartbroken, and see guy after guy behind her. Worst of all Rosemary (his mom) had a particular knack of finding the worst and most messed up guys for a relationship. First came Roy whom I mentioned on an earlier post, then came Dwight he sure was a "keeper". At first he seemed to be very polite and quite the gentlemen, but then after his mom made a an agreement to move in with him everything changed. Tobias came to live first in his house while his mom was making some arrangements, so she wouldn't be there for a few days or months. Meanwhile during this time Dwight became this really evil person, he became what had always been. This is when he started to physically and verbally abuse of Tobias in a very cruel and harsh manner. This is where I was very frustrated because Tobias didn't tell his mom what was going on. I'm still not sure if it was out of wanting to see his mom happy or not wanting her to continue to be sad. Still I found this to be a very noble and loyal act from Tobias, but there is a point when not telling her from the beginning backfires. Rosemary moves in and Dwight knowing that he already has her in his grasp brings out his normal self, and the abuse starts towards her as well. This was very controversial as this search for happiness that Tobias and his mom were trying to find became a search for freedom and normality. Out of nowhere that house became a prison for both Dwight was a really volatile person. He just didn't think of his actions. I wish I could write what I really think of him, but there would just be to much cursing (although he deserved every word). This sham continued for many years it just got worse.

After reading i'm still not able to think what I would do in that type of situation. There is one thing though that makes me think which is the timeframe of when all this happened. It was around the 50's, which means society was very different from today's. Something like that nowadays would be frowned upon and punished by law without any doubt. My question is if at that time was this type of household behavior frequent? was violence normal within the average household? I would really like to know more about that subject. As well as women rights at that time, because this book really reflects the inferiority and degradation of women. It makes them seem completely submissive in a patriarchal society. This is reflected in Rosemary as she has always been stepped on by men, and really not much has been done by her in this subject. After all she has been trough I wouldn't of thought twice to move out immediately from that house. What would you do if you were in Tobias's and Rosemary's shoes?