The Effects of Arguing

After starting to read "Thank You For Arguing" by Jay Heinrichs I have to say that it made me think about various things I've could of done differently. At first he talks about how much his book is going to help us in life through social interaction. He wanted to state the importance of knowing how to argue,  and on knowing how to use the power of argument in life. At first I have to say that I was a little skeptical: as most texts who starts by saying how useful they are going to be usually aren't. But astonishingly I found that most of what he had to say has certain logic and truth to it. One example is when he talks about seductive argument and how effective it is when correctly used: as it implies emotions. The purpose is to manipulate "Seduction is manipulation. (p.9)"it is to stir someones emotions to get what you want. Like with advertising when they display very attractive models on clothing this sort of makes you want to look like them: appealing to your inner insecurity making you want to look better. Although seduction is just part of the process of persuading someone it is a very key part as it drags you in. There was one time when this girl at school whose beauty was breathtaking asked me if I could help her with a project she was doing. Being naturally attracted by her I decided to help her, although it was very time consuming it was worth the sacrifice (that's what I thought). Even though when I finished helping her I still hadn't began my own project I felt that we reached the consensus Jay talks about " It means more than just an agreement, much more than a compromise. The consensus represents an audience commonsense thinking. (p.9)."She got the help she needed I got her to like me and acknowledge me more (win-win).

These are not the only parts which I found useful from the reading there was one which got me thinking: it was the avoidance of having a fight just by knowing how to argue. First he wanted the reader to understand the difference between what was to fight and to argue "The basic difference between an argument and a fight: an argument, done skillfully, gets people to want to do what you want. You fight to win; you argue to achieve agreement.(p.17)" I reflected upon this and its validity, and its very true once you think about it when you fight you try to make yourself get over somebody else: most of the time through aggression. But really what is the result from this, it only inspires revenge or retreat though fighting we can't achieve what we want no consensus can be made. It's like when he talked about the couples and the results from the experiment in which he saw that the happy ones argued and the unhappy ones fought. This reading on knowing how to differentiate fighting and arguing made me think on recent occasions. No so long ago I fought with my parents because they saw that I was not using my full capacities at school: that I was slacking. Immediately this made me furious as they didn't understand that I was challenging myself to a great extent this year. When I get mad my mind gets a little foggy and I don't process well what someone says to me. If I would of argued from the beginning and calmly acknowledge my parents points as well as asking them for some further advice: I wouldn't of been grounded.

Throughout the reading I have felt very connected to what Jay has to say on how to express yourself and to manage interactions. I have to say I feel that it is very important as well because it can help you manage many discussions you have in life. It's something that has a clear use for further situations this is why i've been appreciating it so much. As much as it is informative it is helpful.

Chiasmus: a rhetorical or literary figure in which words, grammatical constructions, or concepts are repeated in reverse order, in the same or a modified form; e.g. ‘Poetry is the record of the best and happiest moments of the happiest and best minds.

Enthymeme: an argument in which one premise is not explicitly stated.